I came to Spain to study, but I don't adjust to it

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Once upon a time there was a foreign student who had chosen Barcelona to continue his Degree. After the first three weeks the experience has turn out to be totally different from what he expected: he has little in common with his American fellows and he is not enjoying the experience as he had imagined. The days are long, but the nights when he stays in, are never ending. He wonders what to do with his life and and why he does feel so reckless. "Why have I failed?"He asks himself.

He is confused, unable to think clearly, overwhelmed by anxiety, homesick and starts to consider going back home. But he would walk off with his tail between his legs and one more failure on his record.

At this point, consulting a psychologist is always a wise decision, why?:

A psychologist specialist in this type of situations (cultural adjustment and associated feelings), has a particular knowledge that can help you make up your mind and provide the necessary dose of reality needed in this caos.

  • Achieving a pursued job, starting a relationship, living abroad... are unique experiences which unfortunately also produce important anxiety. Our brains are not used to newness and therefore puts us on guard, triggering a stress response similar to the one our predecessors felt in front of a threatening a lion.
    The therapist will help you identify those situations (external and internal) that are generating more stress than necessary and hindering the adjustment process.
  • Sometimes we carry on difficulties that are awaken by this new adjusting experience. Probably, this is not the first time you have issues adjusting to new places and people.
    The therapist helps you detecting repeating patterns, to see where they come from and how to change them.
  • While this experience is not as easy as expected, it can be a great opportunity to know and reflect on yourselves. Probably, you will not have the chance to do this "inner journey" once you get back to the U.S. and to your busy life.

Study abroad can be a great chance to experience another culture, but above all, to travel to the most important place imaginable... to travel to your inner world. A trip that, by no means, you should not miss.

The American nightmare: Studying Abroad

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Beach, paella, bullfights, parties, alcohol ... are some of the siren songs that attract American students when choosing Barcelona as a destination to complete their studies.

They expect to have fun as ever, start from scratch, grow as a person and some even reinvent themselves. " Become a self made man" as the American dream.

However, they find a very different reality: they do not know the country, culture, language, future fellows ... So instead of the imagined paradise, they are confronted with highly stressful situations which produce uncertainty and above all, a lot of anxiety.

Some of the worries they share with me in my office are:

  • "I feel I do not fit. I thought I would make new friends here but I feel different from them. Some go out and drink too much. I wish I could also do other things, but I feel dragged by them otherwise I feel very lonely. "
  • "I've been here for three weeks and feel more and more nervous and anxious. I overthink and have trouble sleeping. "
  • "I doubt whether I can finish my studies here, sometimes I am looking forward to going back home, I miss my family and my friends."
  • "I'm reflecting on what to do with my life,I thought I had it all figured out but now I begin to doubt it."
  • "I had wised to come to Barcelona for a long time. Before coming, I did not feel totally accomplished and thought that by coming to Barcelona I would feel better, but I feel much worse. "

The solution to all these concerns depends on each case and person.

The first step is to always check the personal and family expectations associated with the studying abroad experience. Once they are detected we can take off some unreal excess load ("become a great person in three months", "become what I never was before," "leave my problems behind ") and adjust them to the external and internal current reality.

Once the expectations are adjusted , the future begins to look in a different colour, and you will feel more capable and start to relate others in a more adapted way.

Although it seems unbelievable, these doubts are an opportunity to develop self-awareness, strengthen self-confidence and to get off this experience with an helpful luggage.